#10: Courage is all about the heart
I’ve been thinking about courage and what it means to me, and also I’ve been hearing about what courage means to you, and one thing seems to be for sure: courage is about having a sense of strength to push forward, or to carry on, when it would be far easier to hang back and stick our head in a large bucket of sand (or to run for the hills) and pretend none of it is happening.
Definitions differ, but I like The Cambridge Dictionary’s:
And it got me thinking: without fear, there can be no courage.
Quite literally, without fear, we wouldn’t have the opportunity to be courageous; we wouldn’t know our own courage.
Also, I’ve been thinking a lot about the day-to-day things, the courageous moments that we—each of us—know, either directly or indirectly:
the courage to get out of bed and face the day - especially when living with depression and anxiety
the courage to close down a business and/or start a new one
the courage to look for, apply for and, potentially, start a new job
the courage to move, or relocate and start a new life
the courage to start anything
the courage to create art, and to put it out there, for all to see, with no guarantees that it will ever be understood or deemed ‘successful’
the courage to initiate in relationships: be it making first contact, starting conversations, displaying affection - all with the potential for rejection
the courage to end relationships, especially those that are damaging
the courage to maintain/manage any challenging relationships for the benefit of others
the courage to express one’s self - being true to yourself and open about it
the courage to be accepting of one’s own responsibilities/reality, despite having an urge to run away and hide
the courage to endure ongoing health issues
the courage to confront life-threatening illnesses
the courage to live with chronic pain
the courage to grow old and confront one’s own mortality
the courage to care for and watch a loved one get older and more vulnerable and approach death
the courage to be pregnant and responsible for new life
the courage to care for and raise children, consciously
the courage to address substance misuse
the courage to make lifestyle changes: giving something up, to slow down and be present (in a world obsessed with doing)
the courage to face and stand up to bullies
the courage to do what is right, and not what is easy
the courage to do nothing
the courage to rest
the courage to stop
…the list is endless, and I am sure you will have many more to add. But it’s clear that each one of these has some kind of fear attached to it.
And, I think, essentially, at the root of them all, is a common fear: the fear that we are not in control.
Whether we are worried things will go wrong or simply not turn out as we may hope, there is, on a basic and underlying level, a realisation that so much is beyond our control and that chaos is always close by.
I know with my own experience of managing anxiety, it is about accepting that I can’t fix everything, and though I can try to figure it all out and have it perfectly planned to try and keep everybody safe and happy, it is not only unrealistic, but it also comes at a cost. Chiefly, that I’ll be a wreck of a person. No good to anybody.
And it’s only now, that I am a mother, that I truly value myself and my own wellbeing.
I didn’t before. I was the last of my own priorities. Emotionally, I spent all I had to give on others, and it wasn’t something that I could continue to do; I had to get still and I had to face my fears.
The thing I’ve learnt about fear, though, is that a lot of it never actually happens.
Sure, our problems are real and they are certainly a challenge, but half of the stuff we worry about doesn’t actually happen.
But fear can feel debilitating, and so for courage to gather enough to rise up in us is quite a feat. But we humans are pretty incredible beings. Thanks to our hearts!
Yoga is, according to Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras, primarily about stilling the fluctuations of the mind (Yogah Citta Vritti Nirodha), and I know that each time I come to my mat, I am amazed by just how peaceful my mind can be. When it is put to task, and when the heart is allowed to take over. The heart, of course, being the birthplace of courage.
So, in asana, when we are present and breathing fully, it is a beautiful experience. Even in a difficult pose.
In fact, especially in a difficult pose. Yes, it may be uncomfortable, but to bear that discomfort and be there, fully present and in the body - not in the mind, is quite a beautiful thing.
Just like when we’re scared, but we’re showing up anyway. When we are doing what is right and not what is easy.
There’s a place within that this process accesses, where it is possible to commune with one’s Self, and reconnect.
It’s the domain of the heart space, and yoga is all about the heart space.
Not only that, but the courage to attempt tricky poses (gradually and over time, to avoid injury) can be powerful, and it’s amazing how the mind’s barriers create obstacles that aren’t actually there.
Just because I couldn’t (or could) move my body in such a way yesterday, doesn’t mean that it will be the same today.
As many of you will know, there’s a huge amount of acceptance that comes with yoga - it’s certainly not always about making ‘progress’.
Putting reflection into practice
So, in your practice this week, no matter if it’s during a class or when you are practicing privately at home, or indeed whether it’s during asana or seated meditation, or just as you go about your day (for it is all practice, or sadhana) notice the barriers that come up in your mind and then the courageous thoughts that challenge them.
Unpick the ones that try to tell you that you can’t do something and then highlight the ones that say you can.
Notice and journal about them. Observe from which part of you they come from: the heart or the mind?
I’d also like you to list all of the ways that you are courageous, and the courage you observe in those around you. From the small to the grand. The personal to the public. The courageous moments that make up your every day-to-day.
To end, it is Good Friday today, and whether you are a believer or not, there’s undeniably something courageous about the story of Jesus on this day: the day that he was crucified on the cross. To face such a thing would take huge amounts of courage.
Just as we said earlier, there’s something in us that drives us to push ahead and to overcome, and certainly those among us with a strong sense of belief would testify to that. But even without a religious belief, there’s something in us, isn’t there?
Call it what you like, but it’s there.
Some may say it’s a sense of faith that goes beyond belief.
What I am talking about here, of course, is nothing new or remotely ground-breaking. The great thinkers, sages, saints, gurus, spiritual beings, texts and teachers have been saying it for eons.
In yoga, it is said that our faith (shraddha) in truth, and in what is right and in what needs to be done, and in love—the kind that is stronger than any fear—is what gives us our courage, or our strength (virya), to proceed.
As I mentioned already, this has all been said before, in many different ways by Christ, Buddha, Krishna, Mohammed, etc…
But we need reminding, don’t we? I know I do.
So, I’m ending this letter thankful for all the fear, because it allows me to know my courage, and I am more determined than ever to listen mostly to my heart, and it is my greatest wish that this will be the same for you.
To close, I’d like to share with you one of my favourite Ram Dass meditations for reconnecting to the heart space. I hope you find it useful.
Easter Blessings.
Louisa xx