#25: The Yamas
The Yamas are our starting point this month. In fact, they are our starting point at all times.
When (not if) I get lost, I come back to the Yamas. And there’s no shame in admitting that.
After all, our world is full of endless distractions. Most of them futile. And it would appear that not much has changed (in terms of the human brain) in the time since the Yoga Sutras was first written. Patanjali knew how the mind works. How it can tangle itself in knots.
Not only that, but we also have all sorts of things that we can use (consciously or unconsciously) to take ourselves away (willingly or not) from thinking about the real issues of our lives and what matters most.
Which is causing huge problems for us all. Taking into account the rising rates of anxiety and depression, the increasing instances of war and conflict, and the often ignored existential threat of climate change.
We are, largely, a society of humans entirely cut-off from ourselves. Let alone each other.
Although I am a cheerleader for Yoga, the Yamas are not a magic wand and they are not going to solve all of our problems.
However, observing them and being mindful of them can be of benefit. Not only to ourselves but to everybody around us.
In a nutshell, the Yamas, also known as the ‘social ethics’, are all about how we interact with one another. They are about showing up authentically, so that we can try to see things as they really are, and then allowing life to unfold from that place.
The Yamas start with us, inside ourselves, where we can nurture and practice each ethic, then they radiate out to others.
As always, what follows is merely a sharing of my own experiences and is only ever an invitation for you, dear reader, to consider my words for yourself.
Ahimsa (non-violence)
When I first heard of Ahimsa, I was struck by how essential it is. Not only to all of the world’s religions and wisdom traditions, but to any meaningful relationship.
Put simply: we cannot truly love others if we do not love ourselves.
The term ‘non-violence’, or ‘non-harming’, encompasses many things on many levels. Obviously, physical and emotional harm, but also the subtle, more unseen ways that we may be harmful, such as how we judge or talk harshly to ourselves.
Consider this for a moment:
How have you thought about yourself today?
How have you - in your head - spoken about yourself and others?
Ahimsa, in thought and word and deed, is a beautiful observance.
To live with ahimsa is to live with acceptance. It is to live with love. And it is not always easy to do. Especially when we feel under pressure, and particularly with people who have no concept of Ahimsa. I know I find them incredibly challenging and I prefer not to be around them. While I try to hold them with love, for sure, I know that I am allowed to protect my energy, and practice ahimsa towards myself (and them) by limiting our interactions, and that this is actually a very kind thing to do. For the sake of everybody, including those outside of the relationship.
I like to think of it as dropping a stone (or not) into the middle of a pond and watching as the ripples shimmy to the edges.
Satya (truthfulness)
‘Communication that reflects what is real or true’ is the second stronghold of yoga. Second only to Ahimsa. (Please note: some traditions start with Satya, but it makes sense to me to start with Ahimsa).
Truth that is non-harming is the point here and it’s a tricky thing to balance.
As is knowing and constantly reminding ourselves that our version of the truth may not be the actual truth.
Without gaslighting ourselves, this awareness of possibility gives us and others the grace to be human, with the right to make mistakes, and it allows for different points of view, adding to the richness of our human experience.
We learn so much - everything - about ourselves in relation to others.
Therefore all of our interactions offer us a chance to become more aware.
Or as Ram Dass put it:
“It’s all grist for the mill.”
Truthfulness and kindness, transparency and clarity, are the basis of any peaceful relationship.
Again, we cannot be honest with others if we are dishonest with ourselves.
Asteya (non-stealing)
Theft is obviously a destructive thing. When we think of stealing, we usually think of theft of physical objects: money, jewellery etc…
But how about the stealing of another’s good name or reputation, time, energy, love, generosity, kindness, attention, work or ideas?
I resonate with Asteya as being concerned with the act of not taking advantage of another.
Not taking that which is not ours to take.
(And recognising when others are attempting to do this to us.)
When I feel someone is trying to take advantage of me, I simply remove myself from the situation.
I like the idea of this Yama being about reciprocity. Give and take. Where there is a fair exchange and where all parties feel it is mutually balanced in terms of things like respect, compassion and empathy; it’s a two-way street.
Brahmacharya (correct use of energy)
In order to maintain energy for what is most important (possibly a relationship with Brahma, or God, but you could also hold in mind anything or anyone who you deem to be divine) we must not waste our energy.
I’ve also heard of this Yama as being about ‘moderation’.
Apparently this Yama was originally associated with the idea of celibacy. But fidelity in a loving relationship is also relevant.
As are the issues of manipulation and coercion, which can be very subtle and at play in all kinds of relationships.
The main point is that our energy is sacred and it is not to be wasted on nonsense.
Related to our use of energy, I find it helpful to consider this Yama when something is becoming too much - when I begin to feel the bubbles of overwhelm - and it is a sign that I can no longer ignore.
At such times when I’m low on energy (which may be more often than you think), I know I have to consider the ways I am spending my energy, necessarily and unnecessarily, and I do this by reminding myself of what is most important to me, in relation to my practice and my dharma (more on this later), as part of my service to others. And I have to remind my highly empathic self that I can’t be all things to everybody.
Aparigraha (non-attachment)
Or, as I like to think of it:
Whatever comes. Let it come.
Whatever goes. Let it go.
This has been a huge area for me and my journey.
I find it helpful to think of this Yama in terms of being present. Fully in the here and now.
It’s about dropping my expectations of others and allowing myself not to meet the expectations that others have of me, and learning that it’s okay to be disappointing.
Please, don’t get me wrong: it’s not about not caring about anything. I care. Deeply. About many things.
But it’s about recognising that which I have the capacity for versus that which is never ending - the things I have no control over (which is mostly everything) - and then accepting that.
For instance, I have no control over how others see me. After all, their perceptions usually have very little to do with me. So, by accepting that, I am able to be myself (and see myself as a person who is doing their absolute best), and then, knowing that I am enough and that I do enough, I can allow others to think what they like.
They are free to have their thoughts, and I am free to have mine.
How about you ?
What are your feelings about the Yamas?
Feel free to leave a comment or reply to this email if you have something to share.
I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Peace, love and kindness,
Louisa
x
P.S.
Please find this issue’s journal page and playlist below, and there is also a couple of further resource suggestions to help you consider the Yamas for yourself.
Book: Embodying the Yoga Sutra
Video:
Love this and will reread it to remind myself often.
I love this and often return to those principles as a guiding force in my life. There's a lifetime's work right there, in those 5 words 😊