#8 - Equinox Child
"It was one of those March days when the sun shines hot and the wind blows cold: when it is summer in the light, and winter in the shade." Charles Dickens
Greetings dear ones!
So, I had my birthday. Yep, the big one. I am now officially forty. That’s forty spins around the sun!
My daughter said to me today: “Mama, do you still feel 39? Because I feel like I am still four!” And as well as empathising with her, it got me thinking about age and the way time is structured; about how we flow through our lives, cyclically, as well as on a continuum.
As we all know, in years gone by - way before the invention of the clock - the position of the sun and the stars in the sky served as a marker for the passing of time.
With my birthday on the 19th of March, and being born in the evening, it means I am an equinox child. My dad, born on the 20th, even more so. And if we include the days leading up to and those just after, then my daughter’s birthday, also, has some equinox vibes about it - as indeed does my late father-in-law’s, too.
It’s funny how, sometimes, family birthdays appear in clusters. Biologically, there are suggestions about the syncing of peak fertility, but I like to think there is also something far more mystical about it.
With the Spring, or Vernal, Equinox in mind, our focus here at The Yoga Letters for March has been “Balance”, and as I’ve mentioned a few times now: balance is something that feels very much front and centre for me at this time. I crave it. I seek it. I prioritise it.
Not least because I am prone to burn-out—physically, emotionally and spiritually—because of all the outward energy and the expenditure of the reserves that I have to restore. I very much require the more insular and reflective spaces to process everything.
Energetically, I match those of the sun and the moon. I thrive when I can be aligned with both aspects. So, in light of all the amazing experiences that I have been fortunate to have and all of the precious people that I have been around recently, I shall now be attempting to have a bit of cave-time, in that I will be creating as much space for solitude and peace as I possibly can to balance everything out.
It figures that it is this way for me. I, by far, prefer the transitional seasons: the equinox seasons of Spring and Autumn. Winter and Summer have their charms, but they are quite intense, in a lot of ways. I appreciate that for some these transitional times can be too disjointed and confusing. They like to feel solidity in a season.
Whereas I love the coming and the going. I love the spontaneity and the rest. The giving and the taking. The out-there and the in-here. I love the planning that often takes place in these times. I love the sense of something brewing. Of change being in the air. I find it exciting and stimulating. My dreams feel like they could almost come to life and that I am able to pursue them in the bright light, while also still nurturing them in the softness of the dark.
Most of all, I love the natural world and the colours that we see at these times and in these equinox seasons. The world is simply beautiful. The weather, unpredictable, and it all reminds me of the ever-changing and wild reality of this thing we call ‘life’.
It’s something that can’t be categorised, controlled or contained. Much like myself!
Like all of us!
We are all wild. We are beyond the labels we give ourselves and we can kid ourselves until the cows come home, but, really, none of this - not one single thing - really makes any sense, does it?
Just yesterday, I was talking to a friend about a book I come back to again and again: Linda Goodman’s Sun Signs.
Now, it isn’t the most P.C. or forward-thinking of reads, so I recommend it with a caution, but in terms of the characteristics associated with the different times of birth, it is incredible, and I find it entertaining to read. Especially on my birthday. I find it interesting to note, in reflection, all that the ride of life has shown me throughout the year and there are always new surprises each time that I read it. New layers of meaning.
Though it must be said, I’m not entirely onboard with everything ‘mystical’; I am still a rationalist and a realist, to a certain extent. But, to be honest, there is so much about the unknown universe that we (and I mean science) does not understand, and why should it? We’re only human. We can’t know everything, no matter how much we like to think otherwise.
And I guess that’s been the major feeling that I’ve had this year: that there is still so much mystery, if not even more so than there ever was. There are only ever more reasons to take life less seriously and to hold onto those who are here, sharing this nonsensical journey with me. Reminders to take as much pleasure as possible from the simple things. To feel gratitude for being here, and to help others, where possible, along the way.
Or, as Ram Dass so perfectly put it: “In the end, we’re all just walking each other home.”
So, until next time, peace, love and endless kindness,
Louisa
x
How about you? How do you feel around this time? How do you find balance?
The comments are open to everybody this week, so please feel welcome to share your thoughts.